Notes date: 1/ 11/ 2018
“I can be the only one / but do you even want to ….” – Blood Orange
Even when people can no longer afford anything else, somehow they can still afford to Love. There is no denying that, like all aspects of living and existence – love can be excruciating and if unhindered, can also bear the most terrorizing effects. People often say that ‘too much of a good thing can be very bad’. It is the same if not worse with such passionate feelings such as desire, longing, craving – for anything really.
People who, for some reason or another feel unloved, unappreciated or whose existence is denied and suppressed often react most horribly. Take the example of an unemployed person going through the vicissitudes of life’s journeys. The person may find themselves burdened with the weight of feeling like nuisance or a burden. The sense of being unuseful or unwanted in some way, even as others claim to love her/him can be strenuous, stressful and even depressing. Our society makes it very difficult for an unemployed person to live a happy life. The condition of being underemployed can even afflict some of the most industrious and enterprising people. Sometimes misfortunes can befall people who have done almost everything possible to work for themselves or even to find formal work.
Going through the daily motions of familiar chores, responsibilities as well as navigating the pathways of emotional relationships can take its toll on the body and mind. With a little help from real friends and family, one can get over or endure some of the hills and valleys, the mood-swings, irrational behaviors that come with not being able to “earn a living.” The words that we use, the language we use to label the unemployable and unemployed can also be very destructive. We need to unlearn certain terms in order to find the value of a person even if they do not appear to fit or meet our expectations, even when they cannot seem to meet their own expectations.
There is also the significance of personal choices. The modern saying that ‘little things mean a lot’, is true. The choices one makes have a cumulative effect in various aspects of life. These come from a universe of opportunities in order to manifest, they help others to find happiness in your presence, in your being. People begin to judge you not because of what you do for work, but for who you are as a person. Steve Bantubonke Biko was alluding to this when He mentioned in His book I Write What I Life, that, ” ” –
Let us talk about Love and music. The music that emerges from the lives and stories of lovers in different situations, this essential drama of life is what keeps the emotive elements of music so appealing and meaningful.
Southern Africa, in particular the RSA has seen the deaths of a lot of young artists lately, this has prompted the public, the media and social networks to engage in really robust discussions about topics such as Depression, Stress, Unemployment as well as their related causes. This is a very healthy discussion/conversation to have as it gives people an opportunity to emerge from their darkened spaces. People are beginning to relate to their pains, their often difficult and often inexplicable behavior. People are beginning to not feel totally alone. As difficult as things may be in Southern Afrika, there is a Love movement going on. many people are embracing indigenous beliefs or what is called Indigenous Knowledge Systems. Mental enslavement and unquestioning over reliance in material things is waning.
We are beginning to realize that not all things that are diagnosed by Western doctors and psychologists as depression or other psycho-somatic illnesses are not always what they seem. People are acknowledging that there is such a thing as Ancestral recall or the sicknesses or mental and physical challenges that come as manifestations of the Ancestors ‘speaking through’ or attempting to communicate with the future which is our Present.
Music possesses or demands the kind of devotion which is akin to loving. With music we are able to transcend most pain, even the pains that are related to Death, our own as well as that of loved ones. Bob Marley famously sang that “One good thing about music, when it hits you feel no pain / so hit me with music / brutalize me with music…”
Storytelling and the patience it requires of both the actors, the teller and the listeners, can help our society to function more harmoniously beyond the acquisition and ambition for material things. When the various members of a society can engage and devote themselves to listening, quality listening to one another, it would enrich us so much.
How Does Listening Enhance Wellbeing?
Well, wellbeing begins within oneself. Primarily, the prime being, and one that needs to be Known and Understood is Self.
When we can listen to ourselves well enough, we can better find the best qualities of hearing, listening and intimately engaging with others. This is the key to the word Relating or Relationship. Sometimes, these things do not happen naturally, we often struggle to accept each other’s idiosyncrasies, each others behaviors, and it requires LOVE, whose main aspect is understanding, patience and acceptance – these are the attributes of Love that make listening easier.
Another attribute of love is good attention. We have to quiet ourselves or our minds to be able to know intuitively how to measure what is enough attention and what is insufficient. I have been observing the behaviors of my three children. My Triplet boys could not be more different from each other personality-wise. They may have been born on the same day, under the same sign and carry similar DNA, but what makes them so beautifully unique is the consistency of their individual behavior. Each requires the special attention of each of their parents at different times and in a vastly different way. I often feel that they were born to teach us some deep lessons about the intricacies of Life itself. Mvulandlela, the first born, is so full of kinetic energy and ultra-sensitive to noises and other stimuli, the Helpers actually assume that he is also cowardly, but I find that is an gross misunderstanding. Yes, he may be highly excitable, but they are failing to pay sufficient attention.
I have made it my duty to ensure that he gets the kind of attention that is positively stimulating and conducive to his intellectual, artistic growth and natural progression. While I have told the Child-minders that each of the boys should be treated with adequate care and special attention, they should not be smothered. This is especially important for their Mother to know. The onus to lead the children up an intelligent and harmonious path is up to us and ultimately up to themselves as Souls or themselves as dividuals … We shall get into the examples of the other two boys later …The point I am making here is that Love must be both patient and visionary. It should be as liberating as music can be.